When I Fell In Love

Recently I was posed with the challenge of sharing a story of the Lord's love that would bless and encourage others to fall in love with Him all over again. It was honestly hard for me to come up with something that happened recently.

However, that thought led me to another, as it usually happens. "When was it that I fell in love with Jesus?" Looking back over my life, I honestly can't not remember a day without knowing Jesus and being in relationship with Him. Sure, that relationship has grown immensely over the years. And I've always known He loved me and I professed my love in return. But now I know, I was not truly head over heels in love with Him. I was performing a duty as every good Christian did. Along with my profession of "love" came my faithful acts of scripture memorization, church attendance, moral living and repentance of sin (every night as I lay in bed lest "I should die before I wake...")

The truth about when I truly allowed my heart to be one with His and let His affections for me draw me into the sweetness of His presence, came as a surprise to me. I'm not even sure why, but it was when I married my love and quickly thereafter started having children. That was the true beginning of my love story with Jesus. It's really rather ironic since that was the start of the season of having the least amount of time for "devotions" and "duties" as I had become dependent on and familiar with. Maybe it's because those years of popping out babies every 18 months absolutely stripped me of any unknowing attempts at works based relationship. All past efforts of perfectionism didn't have a prayer in this new season of nursing, diapers, sleepless nights, newly-wedded bliss, meals, laundry, dirty house, etc. Now how Jesus got through to me and allowed me to fall in love is still a mystery. Perhaps it was while I prayed in the spirit over a sick child while trying to stay awake, or the tears I cried in worship because it was the only way I could express my desperate desire for a drink from His well, or the moments I was "left behind" to nurse a baby while everyone else rode the hayride or went on a hike.

Truly He is always near to me. Truly His love for me has nothing to do with what I do for Him or give to Him. Truly I love Him only because He first loved me. And, truly, only He knows my heart and my deepest longing for more of Him.