"Mama said...

...there'd be days like this. There'd be days like this my mama said. mama said, mama said!" My, how many days this song goes through my head.....

Today was such a day. The following are two excerpts from "boil over" e-mails to a couple of friends:

Oh, I know you already are....but I could still really use some prayer regarding our house situation. I've been fighting not getting down about it. If I had more energy and felt better, it would do me good to get some little pre-moving projects done. At least I would feel like I was moving in that direction. It's been forever since I've even really cleaned the house, let alone projects. Oh well. Such is life right now. Jesus hasn't forgotten us. I know that. It's coming. I just have to keep telling myself even though there is no reason to believe it in the natural. That's faith though, right? The evidence of things not seen....

I did make it out to Kohls for a bit today and bought the sweetest little newborn layette set. I think I will hang it in my room to keep me smiling. I've also figured out that if I get rid of my night stand, I could fit a tiny bassinet next to my bed. I'd just have to find a place for a lamp and to set my glasses and clock.

(The question posed upon hearing our baby news was "Looks like you may need more space?")
Yes, more space. What a challenge at times to believe the Lord for His "above and beyond what we can ask or imagine" while being faced with so many opportunities to "settle" for something that works. Most people don't understand why we would hold out when we could make something work. Sometimes the dreams and desires He puts in our hearts just can't be explained to others. I held out for the man of my dreams and got even more than I'd hoped for. We held out, believing through 4 deliveries that I would go into labor on my own, but it didn't happen until the 5th one! BUT, it DID happen. We have too many other stories of the Lord's faithful provision to give up now. One thing is for sure, I don't want to miss the Lord's best because I lost my patience and lost hope.

Anyway, there's a bit of venting :-) We have so much to be grateful for...our family, our health, JESUS, laughter, our home, our food.......the list could go on and on. When it all boils down, without HIM, we truly have nothing. So grateful for Jesus!

Truly it amazes me to think, on a day like today, what would I do without the hope of Jesus? On a day when all I want to do is cry, eat chocolate and sleep, what would be my reason for thinking tomorrow would be better? What reason would I have for kicking myself in the butt for whining and telling myself to get a reality check? The reason is: THIS IS NOT MY REALITY! The supernatural, the things unseen, that's my reality. That's where life truly lies. How hard it is to "live" in that when you can't see it. I envy the "seers" out there. How comforting it would be to walk into my tiny house and see it packed out with angels. Or to have taken my pregnancy test and immediately gotten a thumbs up, visually, from Jesus himself. One more thing to hope for.....eyes to see.