Whenever I have the frame of mind to actually talk to Jesus about my kids and pray for them, I always find myself pleading with Him: "Please, help me to do this parenting thing right! Help me to lead them into an intimate relationship with You! Help me to be a worthy mirror to them of Your love!" So I find myself on this never ending journey of godly parenting.
My most recent leg of this journey has led me to a book called "Loving Our Kids On Purpose" by Danny Silk. It is bringing some deeper revelation to some truths I've stumbled upon already. And is giving me some new strategies on how to practically apply these truths.
Here is a quote from Silk that I'm still processing and even learning to apply to my own life, in addition to my parenting. It's been a sort of continuum of thoughts from this post:
"I want to propose to you that freedom is a top priority in heaven, because it is what makes relationships possible. Heaven's culture of relationships is vastly different than most everything we see on earth because God, the Father is less interested in compliance and much more interested in love. This is the reason that He is trying to prepare us to live absolutely free lives in an environment of unlimited options more than trying to keep us from sin." pg. 36.
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Monday, October 27, 2008
The Mission Trip
My husband and I went away two weekends ago for a much needed getaway together. We are coming up on our 8th year wedding anniversary. What a FABULOUS time we had together! One woman we met thought we were newlyweds. Another man, while over-hearing our side-splitting laughter in the shoe store, said "If shoe shopping had been this much fun with my ex-wife, I wouldn't have divorced her!" (what do you say to that?) Now granted, it was quite the ordeal trying to get out the house. Then it took us the first couple of hours to decompress, but the remainder of our time together was filled with laughter, satisfying silence, deep conversation and, well, other things. :-)
While we were away, I was thinking of all the other couples of young children who could benefit from time alone together for more than 20 minutes while falling asleep in bed. We all need time away with Jesus alone (check out this post) , but time away with your spouse and Jesus is also essential for a happy and healthy family! One of the best things we can give our children, in my opinion, is time alone together with our husband or wife. So much of our family "issues", struggles and triumphs are a direct result of this covenant relationship, whether we want to admit it or not.
So, for those of us who see the value of such an investment, but have a hard time coming up with the necessary funds, I "decided" we should start a missions fund of money and childcare! If we can all pitch in money here and there to send someone to Mexico, Brazil or Jerusalem to minister, then surely we can do the same for those needing a time of renewal and refreshing in the most impacting relationship in their lives after Jesus! Okay, so I am only joking, well, maybe. But regardless, isn't it time we start better prioritizing this covenant relationship that brought our little ones into the world to begin with? They deserve our investment.
While we were away, I was thinking of all the other couples of young children who could benefit from time alone together for more than 20 minutes while falling asleep in bed. We all need time away with Jesus alone (check out this post) , but time away with your spouse and Jesus is also essential for a happy and healthy family! One of the best things we can give our children, in my opinion, is time alone together with our husband or wife. So much of our family "issues", struggles and triumphs are a direct result of this covenant relationship, whether we want to admit it or not.
So, for those of us who see the value of such an investment, but have a hard time coming up with the necessary funds, I "decided" we should start a missions fund of money and childcare! If we can all pitch in money here and there to send someone to Mexico, Brazil or Jerusalem to minister, then surely we can do the same for those needing a time of renewal and refreshing in the most impacting relationship in their lives after Jesus! Okay, so I am only joking, well, maybe. But regardless, isn't it time we start better prioritizing this covenant relationship that brought our little ones into the world to begin with? They deserve our investment.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
The Tongue Part 4
Okay, okay, I know I might seem a bit of a fanatic about this "word" topic. It's something the Lord has been working in me for awhile and I just have to get it down in writing!
Whether we like it or not, our words help to shape our children's understanding of their identity. For example, early on in parenting, I learned from someone wise that when I praise my children by saying "good girl!" I am really saying "you are good because of how you just performed" or "your goodness is rooted in what you do or don't do." I know this may seem picky, but it's really true! The Bible clearly states that we are good, or righteous, simply because Jesus made us that way when we chose to believe in Him by faith. (Check out the book of Romans for more on that.)
However, it is good and necessary to affirm our children for their good choices, Godly behavior or simply a job, well done! "Great job!" "Well done!" There are many other ways to encourage our children in this area. Sometimes, I even follow-up my affirmation with a reminder that I would have loved him/her just as much if he/she had made a poor choice or not done as well at a task. They need to know that they are good just because Jesus made them that way and NOT as a result of what they do. We all need to know this, not just as "head knowledge" but in our spirits and souls! Oh, how much heartache I would have saved myself over the years if I grew up being fully convinced of this unconditional love, acceptance and gift of righteousness!
Jesus, let our children NEVER doubt the truth of their identity: they have been made righteous. Period.
Whether we like it or not, our words help to shape our children's understanding of their identity. For example, early on in parenting, I learned from someone wise that when I praise my children by saying "good girl!" I am really saying "you are good because of how you just performed" or "your goodness is rooted in what you do or don't do." I know this may seem picky, but it's really true! The Bible clearly states that we are good, or righteous, simply because Jesus made us that way when we chose to believe in Him by faith. (Check out the book of Romans for more on that.)
However, it is good and necessary to affirm our children for their good choices, Godly behavior or simply a job, well done! "Great job!" "Well done!" There are many other ways to encourage our children in this area. Sometimes, I even follow-up my affirmation with a reminder that I would have loved him/her just as much if he/she had made a poor choice or not done as well at a task. They need to know that they are good just because Jesus made them that way and NOT as a result of what they do. We all need to know this, not just as "head knowledge" but in our spirits and souls! Oh, how much heartache I would have saved myself over the years if I grew up being fully convinced of this unconditional love, acceptance and gift of righteousness!
Jesus, let our children NEVER doubt the truth of their identity: they have been made righteous. Period.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Too Simple to Be True?
I've often heard veteran parents joke with first-timers about the baby "manual" that was missing at birth. When I first became a parent, I remember having a moment with Jesus of sheer excitement quickly turned to being overwhelmed with ALL the things I wanted to be sure to teach my children about Him. This sense of almost panic overcame me as I expressed my desires of wanting to teach them all that I learned the hard way, saving them the pain that I endured....I cried out to the Lord, "How in the world am I going to make sure they learn all these things. How can I know for sure that they will love and follow You all the days of their life?" His gentle response came back to me "All they need to know is how to love Me and love those around them. The rest will come." Can it be that simple!? How easily I forget the power of love and the two greatest commandments. And just as easily I forget the greatest teaching tool - my example.
Seven years and five children later, I still must be deliberate about frequently removing my vision from the nitty gritty and looking at the larger picture of life: loving Jesus with all I have and loving those around me. Boy do I need that reminder on the days when "you-know-what" hits the fan (sometimes literally, it seems!) and my actions are less than loving. Although this truth is simple, it is not always easy. What a relief to know that I can't ruin my kids as long as they are surrendered to Him and my heart is pure before Him! I then go back to a place of re-setting my affections solely on Him and letting Him be our Daddy.
Seven years and five children later, I still must be deliberate about frequently removing my vision from the nitty gritty and looking at the larger picture of life: loving Jesus with all I have and loving those around me. Boy do I need that reminder on the days when "you-know-what" hits the fan (sometimes literally, it seems!) and my actions are less than loving. Although this truth is simple, it is not always easy. What a relief to know that I can't ruin my kids as long as they are surrendered to Him and my heart is pure before Him! I then go back to a place of re-setting my affections solely on Him and letting Him be our Daddy.
Friday, August 29, 2008
The Tongue Part 3
"There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18
Note: Although one could probably spend a whole blog on this subject itself, I promise this will not become a kin to the endless Airplane movie sequels! :-)
The power of LIFE is also in our tongues. Some may call it semantics, but if we believe the Bible is true, then it is true, no exceptions. Our children may have bad habits and tendencies, but we have the opportunity to speak about them with honor, declaring what they will be and what they will become according to how their Father in heaven sees them! Again, the Holy Spirit is constantly reminding me of the potential of my words when I am frustrated about certain actions of my children's that seem never-ending! This is especially dangerous for us moms who like to vent our complaints to each other (which little ears pick up on more than we realize!). Can you picture Jesus venting His frustrations about His disciples (or us, for that matter) to the Father? I don't think so! It all starts with what is in our hearts. Love? Honor? Criticism? Judgment? Then, if we stop to notice, we see what we are modeling by the little mirrors around us. It may take more faith for some of us than others to see and declare the potential of heaven in our kids, our husbands...ourselves. Regardless, ALL things are truly possible, we must only believe!
Friday, August 22, 2008
The Tongue Part 2
I have also noticed on my journey of parenting so far, that there are some phrases that have been passed down through the generations that aren't always given much thought before they come flying out of well meaning mouths. For example, "you made the mess, now you clean it up." Well, that's seems like a nice, responsible statement on the surface, but when you unpack it, those words don't model the life of Jesus and the gospel of the kingdom of God. I'm sure glad Jesus doesn't say that to us! Granted, there are consequences to our actions, but we are NEVER left alone to deal with it. Jesus was the greatest servant of all time! As far as I've come in this journey with Him, I've learned that love makes up for my lack, it picks me up in the middle of my mess, it helps me out when I least deserve it. Love serves and love gives, relentlessly. If helping my children clean up their mess of toys helps to put their feet in the tracks of Jesus on the journey of servanthood, then it is worth it!
Monday, August 11, 2008
The Tongue
"Death and Life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit" Proverbs 18:21
It seems that the power of our words is often an oversight in parenting. Simply our careless use of the words "always" and "never" is a good indication of this. Another classic example is the "cute" shirts we thoughtlessly don on our kids with messages like: "I'm the boss" or "Spoiled Rotten" or "Here Comes Trouble". With three girls very close in age, I already find myself professing how terrible the adolescent years will be like in our house. The Holy Spirit has caught me time and time again with a gentle "careful!" There are already dozens of voices in the world saying what our children are, should be or will become. SOMEBODY on this earth needs to speak The Truth over them.
It seems that the power of our words is often an oversight in parenting. Simply our careless use of the words "always" and "never" is a good indication of this. Another classic example is the "cute" shirts we thoughtlessly don on our kids with messages like: "I'm the boss" or "Spoiled Rotten" or "Here Comes Trouble". With three girls very close in age, I already find myself professing how terrible the adolescent years will be like in our house. The Holy Spirit has caught me time and time again with a gentle "careful!" There are already dozens of voices in the world saying what our children are, should be or will become. SOMEBODY on this earth needs to speak The Truth over them.
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