The Tongue Part 4

Okay, okay, I know I might seem a bit of a fanatic about this "word" topic. It's something the Lord has been working in me for awhile and I just have to get it down in writing!

Whether we like it or not, our words help to shape our children's understanding of their identity. For example, early on in parenting, I learned from someone wise that when I praise my children by saying "good girl!" I am really saying "you are good because of how you just performed" or "your goodness is rooted in what you do or don't do." I know this may seem picky, but it's really true! The Bible clearly states that we are good, or righteous, simply because Jesus made us that way when we chose to believe in Him by faith. (Check out the book of Romans for more on that.)

However, it is good and necessary to affirm our children for their good choices, Godly behavior or simply a job, well done! "Great job!" "Well done!" There are many other ways to encourage our children in this area. Sometimes, I even follow-up my affirmation with a reminder that I would have loved him/her just as much if he/she had made a poor choice or not done as well at a task. They need to know that they are good just because Jesus made them that way and NOT as a result of what they do. We all need to know this, not just as "head knowledge" but in our spirits and souls! Oh, how much heartache I would have saved myself over the years if I grew up being fully convinced of this unconditional love, acceptance and gift of righteousness!

Jesus, let our children NEVER doubt the truth of their identity: they have been made righteous. Period.

The Tongue Part 3

"There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18

Note: Although one could probably spend a whole blog on this subject itself, I promise this will not become a kin to the endless Airplane movie sequels! :-)

The power of LIFE is also in our tongues. Some may call it semantics, but if we believe the Bible is true, then it is true, no exceptions. Our children may have bad habits and tendencies, but we have the opportunity to speak about them with honor, declaring what they will be and what they will become according to how their Father in heaven sees them! Again, the Holy Spirit is constantly reminding me of the potential of my words when I am frustrated about certain actions of my children's that seem never-ending! This is especially dangerous for us moms who like to vent our complaints to each other (which little ears pick up on more than we realize!). Can you picture Jesus venting His frustrations about His disciples (or us, for that matter) to the Father? I don't think so! It all starts with what is in our hearts. Love? Honor? Criticism? Judgment? Then, if we stop to notice, we see what we are modeling by the little mirrors around us. It may take more faith for some of us than others to see and declare the potential of heaven in our kids, our husbands...ourselves. Regardless, ALL things are truly possible, we must only believe!

The Tongue Part 2

I have also noticed on my journey of parenting so far, that there are some phrases that have been passed down through the generations that aren't always given much thought before they come flying out of well meaning mouths. For example, "you made the mess, now you clean it up." Well, that's seems like a nice, responsible statement on the surface, but when you unpack it, those words don't model the life of Jesus and the gospel of the kingdom of God. I'm sure glad Jesus doesn't say that to us! Granted, there are consequences to our actions, but we are NEVER left alone to deal with it. Jesus was the greatest servant of all time! As far as I've come in this journey with Him, I've learned that love makes up for my lack, it picks me up in the middle of my mess, it helps me out when I least deserve it. Love serves and love gives, relentlessly. If helping my children clean up their mess of toys helps to put their feet in the tracks of Jesus on the journey of servanthood, then it is worth it!

The Tongue

"Death and Life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit" Proverbs 18:21

It seems that the power of our words is often an oversight in parenting. Simply our careless use of the words "always" and "never" is a good indication of this. Another classic example is the "cute" shirts we thoughtlessly don on our kids with messages like: "I'm the boss" or "Spoiled Rotten" or "Here Comes Trouble". With three girls very close in age, I already find myself professing how terrible the adolescent years will be like in our house. The Holy Spirit has caught me time and time again with a gentle "careful!" There are already dozens of voices in the world saying what our children are, should be or will become. SOMEBODY on this earth needs to speak The Truth over them.