Sunday, April 24, 2011

Through the eyes of a 5 year old...

On one of the many rainy days we've had in the past week, I was driving in the van with Jonah (5) and Timothy (3):
Jonah: "Timothy? Do you know why Jesus sends the rain?"
Timothy: " No, Calah (his name for his brother)"
Jonah: "Jesus sends the rain...sooo....WE CAN SPLASH IN THE PUDDLES!!!"

I smiled and chuckled and felt the nudge of the Lord "take note", He said to me. In that moment, I was reminded that Jesus is as much interested in our pleasure as He is in the practicals of life!

Monday, March 21, 2011


Recently, I've been doing a lot of sitting around. No, not by choice but simply because of this little life I've been growing inside of me for over 40 weeks now.

Anyway, Brian and I have also had lots of time to sit together and talk. However, this is not a new aspect of our life together. Even when I'm not prego or nursing, we have always seemed to prioritize our connection even in simple ways. Often in the spring and summer, once the kids are tucked into bed, we will take a cup of tea out to the porch swing, even for just 20 minutes and sit together. Sometimes we talk. Sometimes we just sit.

Anyone who frequents my house knows that we are not relaxing together because everything is in order inside our house. In other words, for some reason (probably because we are best friends and love to be together!....and, uh, maybe a smidge of exhaustion and, at times, laziness :- ) we have usually prioritized our connection when the kiddos are not in the picture at the moment. It could be really easy in these years of raising little kids to take every spare minute and tidy this or clean that or tackle this overdue project, etc. I'm realizing that time with my hubby is WAY more important to the health and welfare of our family. And I'm also coming to terms with the fact that, when the kids are older, I can begin to prioritize the house more without compromising my connection with Brian.

It's really the grace of God that I can sit in the midst of a messy living room and focus on a conversation with Brian. Now, truth be told, I have not always been this way. Nor is my life void of moments where if the table doesn't get uncovered from junk, I feel as though I could rip my hair out! It's all part of the process of learning and growing. But at the end of the day, I'm so grateful that I can honestly say "I really know and love this man I'm falling asleep beside!" And I'm sure that, one day, my kids will be glad that I can say that too!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Profound Observations

Tonight we got on the topic of belly buttons. The kids like to feel my protruding belly button. Jonah thinks it is the baby's "piggy toes" he is feeling. I showed him my belly button. He chuckled and said "It's closed". Come to think of it, I don't even remember what my belly button looked like before babies! Brian doesn't remember either :-)

Anyway, Jonah then needed to take a look at Brian's belly button. "That's cool!" he chuckled. Then we had Jonah show us his. We told him he had a pretty cool belly button.

"Yeah. It's just like my p---s", Jonah stated matter-of-factly.
"Bub, how is it like your p---s?", Brian asked.
Jonah responded "Well, it has a little hole in it like my p---s does."

Hmm. Funny how "that word" has become such an everyday word in our house. When we had our first son, it was always spoken rarely, quickly and quietly. I honestly never thought we would talk so freely about these parts. (Note: I'm avoiding it's use here to avoid google crawling my text and associating me with undesirable company!)

Ah, yes. Another day full of smiles.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Open It Up

So tonight I was letting the girls feel around on my belly and find their baby sisters various body parts. 'Timothy' was watching in his high chair and asked to get down so he could feel too.
When he touched my belly and felt her move, he asked with excitement, "Can I open it up, can I????" We laughed and then 'Elizabeth' told him, "Very soon you can open it up." AUGH! Wrong promise. He then went running through the house singing "I can open it up! I can open it up! I can open it up! Oh, dank yu, mommy! I can open it up!"

Thankfully 3 year olds have short memories and I still have WAY LONG to go for him to remember his sister's promise. Although, she has already suggested we wrap the baby up in a box in the hospital and let him open "it" up! Fun times.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Process Addiction

Never knew there was such a thing. BUT it totally makes sense from a few observations I've made of late.

I've never worked outside the home as a mom. But from walking with some friend who have, I've learned some new things about parenting. And as a result, feel somewhat more 'normal' in my struggles.

Working a conventional job outside the home can bring with it a lot of instant (or at least semi-quick) results. You start a project to re-write a manual and, in time, it gets done and checked off the list! You're given a list of calls to make and reservations to secure and, after a few potential 'run arounds' with the airlines or hotel desk, voila! Mission accomplished. A sense of satisfaction ensues. Ah. Feels good.

Hmm. Don't quite get that same feeling from a cleaned baby butt (for the 4th time that day) or a healthy snack served (30 minutes after lunch). I haven't even mentioned yet the hard talks about issues of the heart that seem to go in one ear and out the other. No instant gratification there!

Then I learned recently about something called "process addiction". In an effort to suppress emotions or avoid other destructive behavior, some people develop a process addiction. The way I understand it, when a task gets successfully executed, a certain chemical is released in one's body that can become addictive. Hence we can develop this performance based identity and value that is a lie from the pit of hell.

I wonder if that is why, as mom's (especially mom's who once worked outside the home), we struggle with losing our identity in our mommy jobs. With little time to truly process emotions or get healed from past hurts, we throw ourselves into the tasks at hand but often end up disappointed and unsatisfied when the jobs are done. Or, worse yet, we beat ourselves up when we realize the jobs never really get done when we choose to invest the same time we could be doing the dishes in cuddling up with "Corderoy" and our 4 year old instead. (because that's not usually on our list to be checked off!) Maybe I'm not making any sense, but there's something to this and I must keep processing...

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Where in the world....?

So how does this happen? How does 2 months go by without taking the time for even the simplest of posts? Oh well...

I think I may short, this pregnancy has been ROUGH! Boy does it make me grateful for how easy the last 5 have been. Hospital tests, a trip to the ER, countless days on the couch when I'm supposed to be in my 2nd trimester glory.....enough is ENOUGH! The worst is when my kids come to me and say "When are you going to be able to do things with us again?" That is where I draw the line! I totally feel like I've been stolen I've let the enemy hold a party a my expense.

About a month ago, while I was in the thick of this prego muck, a friend approached me at church and shared some things with Brian and I. He said that the Lord showed him this baby was a girl (he was right) and that there was an assignment of the enemy against her. Ah-ha! He then proceeded to tell me that the Lord showed him that she had a calling/anointing to be a warrior.....along with my 5th, 'Timothy', who's real name means "Little fire" (thankful to know we got that one right!). He then went on to specifically say that we would see evidence of this calling in 15 years. WHAT? Do you know how old I will be in 15 years? Talk about patience and faith (the evidence of things not seen....for 15 years!!!). Parenting, by far, is the hardest job on the planet!

Anyway, since that word, my yucka symptoms have slowly minimized. Even my family doc said to keep on with the prayers because they are working even though something was definitely 'wrong' in my body. Good stuff. And the Lord told me recently that the enemy has been coming to me as a "counterfeit warrior" - persistent but powerless. That has lit a fire under my butt to keep the Truth in front of my face and get back on the offensive.

So with 10 (probably more like 12) weeks left, we are still praying for a name for this sweet little warrior while we try to figure out where the heck she is going to sleep in our blessed little house!!!!