Deep, Deep Well

I am so convinced that this revelation of the Father's love that is available goes far deeper than our minds can fathom. I have realized why I personally would much rather that Daddy just tell me what to do when I am at a crossroads. If He tells me which way to go and I do it, then I can be confident that I am approved by Him and that I am pleasing to Him. Another indication that my identity, in part, has been wrapped up in something other than Him AND that my revelation of HIS identity is not complete (right on, "Iam4 Jesus")! It's sooo not about making a right or wrong decision that determines His love or my identity. He created me for relationship, covenant relationship. He was not looking for puppets to prance around thoughtlessly on His stage of earth. True covenant relationship requires risk! Or should I say, "faith"!? The good news is the He remains the same as does His love. AND my identity does not have to shift with the changing of the seasons and directions of life.

This Identity Thing

So I have been stewing on this topic of identity lately. The Lord has been setting me free of an "identity crisis" that I didn't know I had! The following is a raw spewing of sorts, in my attempt to verbalize the start of a revelation I am coming on to. So tie a knot and hang on...as always, it will be a fun ride!

If I struggle with something the Lord asks me to do or a change He asks me to make, how many times is the struggle rooted in an identity crisis? I'm starting to think this wrestling happens many times because my identity and security is wrapped up, in part, in something other than Jesus. Let's say He tells me to do something that is other than what I had already deemed was THE BEST way or choice or method, etc. I could feel as though the "other than" that He is asking of me is actually "less than." Could this be because I placed some of my personal value in my definition of THE BEST?

Do I have a hard time accepting that God is "in" something because it is "less than" THE BEST and surely He wouldn't love me as much? Most of us would deny that His love is conditional as such, but do our choices for security and identity reflect a true heart revelation of His love? Hmm...

Flying like an eagle

I love that common passage in Isaiah "They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings as eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." What a powerful source of encouragement for all of us no matter where life finds us now. My husband and I were reflecting recently on all the waiting and persevering we've done over the past 8 years. We've chosen to take Him at His word and believe Him for the impossible in several specific areas of our lives. As a results, we've seen some serious breakthroughs and victories! But my, oh my, what battles we've had along the way....mostly with the enemy of our own minds and wills. And probably as a result of our lack of "waiting" on the Lord! I have had many seasons along the way of feeling anything but "eaglish", but not because He didn't keep His end of the bargain!

Over a year ago, a friend shared a simple statement with me. It was in response to my update on our house "hunt" (more on that later). She said, "How many times have we missed the Lord's best because we haven't been willing to wait." I knew she was speaking from a place of experience. That word hit me like an arrow into my spirit. And now, back to my conversation with Brian, I was once again reminded of this thought through this scripture. There is a prerequisite to running, walking, and flying with Jesus. We must first wait on Him - indefinitely.