Random thoughts

**Well, after some deliberation and a 4 year break, I'm back on the worship team at church. Jesus was stirring my heart with a recent recording I helped with, a re-visit to some prophetic words I've received and many "random" thoughts. The reason I took such a long break was to maintain my sanity with my family by simplifying our schedule. My babies are more important! Recently, the phrase kept coming across my brain "this would be good for the kids". Interestingly enough, I knew Jesus wasn't telling me to start on the team again, here was the conversation (Jesus' side): "Hey, I know you are passionate about this. I put that in you. I love to see you enjoying the gifts I've given you and exalting Me with them. If you want to jump back in, this is a time when it would be good for the kids and not detrimental...." So, you mean to tell me that Jesus wants me to do things that bring me pleasure? AND He gives me a choice? ABSOLUTELY! That's what true covenant love is all about!

**Ever wonder why May is such a busy month!? I'm certain that they save as many school activities as possible for the last month of school. Field day, parties, summer blast off, awards ceremonies, graduation, etc. The weather gets nice and, of course, the garden has to get planted so we can have veggies ASAP. Oh, and the flowers, yes those need to get in the ground too. The grass comes out of hibernation and creates a jungle where the kiddos can get lost if they so choose. And while were at it, let's throw in a 5 day trip to Colorado taken by my husband for work. Why is it so darn hard to pull on the reins and slow down this Clydesdale!

** True confessions: Doing bedtime alone with 5 kids, after a looonnng day and sleep deprivation, is not too fun. So the other night, my patience was GONE and I pulled out the mommy bully - because it works! (at least in getting the desired actions). So, out the window Danny Silk, sorry but I'll find you again in the morning. Spanked one, yelled at a couple others, mumbled some half hearted "I love you"s and closed the doors. Augh. Don't like that. So grateful for new mercies in the morning and forgetful children.

**Things that make me smile: my 2 year old sitting here next to me, watching a worship video and singing his little heart out to Jesus! watering the flowers on a summer evening after the little ones are in bed; waking up and realizing I can wear my jammies all day because I don't have to go anywhere! listening to the mature processing of an 8 year old (going on 28:); looking at the recent face-lift of my bathroom; driving down the road with my family, all of us singing to the Lord at the top of our lungs; looking back over the past year and realizing the new place of maturity He has loved me into; making music; "growing" butterflies from a larvae state with my children; a morning cup of coffee - that is calling me even now.